GAS-WIKI (totally un-verified and therefore possibly grossly inaccurate musings)

**WARNING: This is a continuation of my streak of stupid posts, so my apologies. It's just that lately I've been sweating in the most inappropriate places because I was afraid that I had announced the receipt of my internship on this website too soon. Until today I hadn't heard a peep from the organization regarding my schedule, regardless of the fact that since Wednesday I've sent my boss-to-be four separate emails and enough voice mails to warrant a restraining order. Fortunately all is well and I start tomorrow, and one of my goals for the job will be to not freak out if one of the seven paid staff members of a rather sizable non-profit doesn't run on Chelsi-time.

I know you all are feeling the lame-ness (my BlogCatalog rating even went down) and I promise you all that now that I'm finally feeling better about my status as a person of the arts, I'm going to unclench the sphincter and get out the remaining random shit on my mind before I get back to our regularly scheduled programming of the occasional rather than frequent bad post. Here it goes:

- What’s this I hear about getting a larger tax return than usual because the country wants to encourage us all to spend money? Are they for real? Because I’m seriously getting a boner at the thought of being compensated for the $139.00 Steve Madden boots I bought yesterday.

- Did the FDA REALLY approve cloning animals for food? What if they end up cloning a disease and then suddenly, BAM, the black plague of death (or something similar) is reintroduced into society via a rotten chicken multiplied by 1,000 and we all die? Do I need to become a vegetarian?

- Are we seriously not going to be able to go outside in 2012 because of global warming? I hear they’re building apartments in Antarctica (or maybe Alaska?) for the extremely lucky and social elites.