Reasons I need to move out of my dad’s house
- I live at my dad's house.
- My registration tags came in for my car this week, and my dad left a note along with them that said: Here are your tags. Have your brother help you put them on, okay?
*Because I'm 12 and can't stick a sticker on my license plate without the help of my YOUNGER brother, obviously.
- The closest bookstore is second hand and only open on Wednesdays between the hours of 12 and 2.
- The carpet in my room is pink.
- I get the stink eye when I eat dinner in my room.
- My pops is a fisherman and I'm tired of not being able to walk into the kitchen or any room within a 20 foot radius of the kitchen without feeling and smelling like I just jumped into the ocean. And contrary to what he thinks, it's impossible to survive on a diet of TROUT WITH A SIDE OF TROUT.
- Opportunities to lounge around naked are few and far between.
- That I have to hide bottles of hard liquor under my bed makes me feel not only like a teenager, but an alcoholic as well.
- Co-ed sleepovers are punishable by death.
- I'm 24.