Sometimes I don’t know how to say what I want to say

So instead all I'll post for weeks at a time are quotes or song lyrics or conversations. Not as a cop out; everything I publish here touches on some personal truth or another, even if there are seemingly conflicting ideas. In fact, if you saw some of the zillions of drafts I have for this site I'm sure you'd suspect me of suffering from a mild case of schizophrenia. It's just the process, you know?

If there's anything I've learned in life it's that there is only now. There is only now. There is only now. I mean what I say when I say it but I reserve the right to change my mind. Because if all we have is now (now! and now! and now!) then we should live fully always, and never cheapen our present for what is uncertain or may never even come.

There's something bothering me (as if you couldn't already tell). Something deep and gigantic like the first signs of an oncoming earthquake. I'm still trying to sort it all out, so please bear with me when I do shit like post weirdo entries like this one. Eventually I'll find the words.

“When you understand that what you’re telling is just a story, it isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumple it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.”

— Chuck Palahniuk