Twilight makes my life better

Chelsi: So, I watched Twilight

Arwen: I'm sorry, it's awful

C: Dude, it's so awful it's great. I could not. Stop. Laughing.

A: "HANG ON SPIDER MONKEY!"

C: Yeah! Or like when he runs her up to the mountain top so she can see him in the sunlight, and he goes...
: "THIS IS WHAT I AM!"
: and his skin is just... shiny

A: Oh yes, the sparkles? Brilliant

C: "IT'S THE SKIN OF A KILLER, BELLA!!"

A: My personal favorite moment is when they are "flying" and you can TELL THERE ARE CABLES

C: Or, "I don't have the strength to stay away from you any longer!"

A: This kind of stuff makes little girl vaginas tickle

C: I hate that you just said that

A: But it's SO true!

C: You mean Kristen Stewart's vag. Her character looks and behaves like she's on the verge of having an orgasm

A: ALL THE TIME RIGHT

C: Seriously man, even during and early scene where they're in biology class...
: and her mouth is all half open and trembling

A: HAHA

C: I sort of hate that I am so entertained by this movie...

A: But it's hilarious! I mean c'mon...a vampire who's got a heart of gold, AND isn't interested in pre-marital sex? Nah.

C: The author admits she knew nothing about vampires when she started writing the books

A: She's also a TERRIBLE writer in general

C: You'd think chick woulda picked up ONE fucking vampire book
: I'm pretty sure all she did was revisit her memories of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A: To be fair, there is one difference I liked, and that was their sheer strength
: so they don't have "fangs"
: just stone motherfuckin teeth

C: Dude I want stone teeth
: for real
: my enamel sucks

A: I think I'm going to go cry now

C: Hey, let's find Robert Pattinson and become vampires

A: .

C: THIS IS WHAT I AM
: IT'S THE SKIN OF A KILLER, ARWEN!

A: I have to stop talking to you now. It's been a lovely run. I'm sad to lose you.

C: ...so we're watching the sequel together, right?

A: Yeah, but we're bringing alcohol into the theater