Pillow talk

1.

He says: Do you know what I heard today? I heard two things. One: You haven’t seen Zoolander (seriously, where have you been) and two: I’m your favorite, which I wasn’t surprised by.

2.

She says:  Shoot me.

He says: With what?

S: A camera!

H: Why would I wanna break it?

S: Ass.

H: You know you could never break a camera…

S: I could at like, 7:30 AM…

H: Naw, that’s when girls look their finest.
: Squinty with some eye boogers, that makes my morning.

3.

He says: Black is the color of the bruise you gave me

She says: Get over it.

H: How was my day, you ask? Amazing. Thank you.

4.

She says: I have to get some sleep.

He says: Sweet dreams of me, but don’t get carried away.

5.

He says: Give yourself a punch in the head…from me
: =)

6.

He says: Have I told you that you’re the best?

She says: No, but i’ll take it now

H: Oh, I was just making sure I hadn’t.

–

This kind of verbal abuse is what lands a lady like myself.