Learning
(Aw, does dropping a zero mean those tacky New Year glasses are kaput?)
I started one of those year-end posts that we all know and love here in the blogosphere, but I have work to catch up on, several Bejeweled Blitz games to play, hair to wash, and a door to dash out of as soon as I’m done getting ready for this evening’s festivities.
Long story short:
In retrospect, I realize I was a weak person for a long time. I doubted myself too often and allowed certain people to walk all over me because I thought it was the best way to prove my undying love. Readers, BE YE NOT SO STUPID.
In January I knew I had some serious soul searching to do, and, after a three month trip to Japan, the discovery of a bar with an eight hour long happy hour (including free grilled cheese sandwiches!), and getting to watch New Moon in the theater with one of my best friends while completely wasted, I think I’ve found what I was looking for.
Know this: the innermost parts of you—your motives, your convictions, your dispositions and attitudes—can change. I know that’s heavy and maybe I sound crazy for saying it, but if I learned anything this year, that would be it.
Events leading up to ’09 turned my own shit inside out and backwards, meaning I’ve spent every second since realizing that change trying to get to acquainted with who I am now. And let me tell you, accepting and coming to terms with the fact that you’ve allowed yourself to be uprooted and punted across a field of bullshit is really, really difficult. But today I am happy with me. Happier, in fact, than I ever have been. I suppose that means that sometimes it’s not so bad to be a remix.
Here are my resolutions. Feel free to adopt some or all:
- Do not be afraid of change. Most of us are reborn every day.
- Do not bend over backwards for people because you think they’ll do the same for you. Most people are assholes. Be nice because it is your nature, or because you do not want to fall into the asshole bracket.
- Keep your eyes peeled because what you put out really does come back to you, but often looks too different to recognize immediately.
- Stop eating so much junk.
That’s all, folks. Be safe, be merry, eat vegetables, and I’ll catch you in 2010.