9Jan/08Off
Ok, so I MIGHT be taking this too far
Sarah: Maybe you should stop making lists.
Me: Why?
Sarah: Because showering is always a good idea.
6Dec/07Off
Sonny Helps Me Look on the Bright Side (pun intended)
Me: Seriously, why do I set off all the alarms ever in the world?
Sonny: Chelsi, I didn't want to have to tell you this...but, you are just so HOT!
Sonny: It used to happen to me all the time.
Sonny: So I know the struggle.
Me: So glad you can relate.
Sonny: You're welcome. It's tough being this fine.
6Dec/07Off
Because I Want to Make P. Diddy Proud
Friend: How ya feelin', sunshine?
Me: Dude, I rented a 2008 Pontiac Grand Prix. It's so fun to drive! Do you have an extra $22,000 so I can buy it?
Friend: Actually, I do. I was going to donate it to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, but I'd much rather give it to you. Would you like it in 50s or 100s?
Me: Benjamins, please. So I can look like I'm ballin'.