Posts under ‘Don’t's’

Go through self checkout when you’ve got a full cart of groceries and a three year old that obviously hates being a three year old and everything it stands for. I mean, COME ON.

1. Ask me to get coffee with you three times in one day. One rejection requires a lot of energy and doing it three times almost killed me, man. 2. Attempt to hide the fact that you have a child. 3. Forget my name yet still have the balls to ask for my number. 4. [...]

Try to make nice on AIM after you’ve already fucked me over multiple times. I won’t be cool just because it’s been months since we last spoke: Asshole: Hey Me: ..hi Asshole: What’s the password to my old computer? Me: I don’t know. You didn’t tell it to me.  Asshole: I did too! Me: No, [...]

Try real hard to hang out with me as soon as you hit a rough patch with your girlfriend. Douche.

TOUCH ME AT THE BART STATION. Are you KIDDING me? I’m obviously sitting there having a non touch-from-strangers-inviting conversation with Adorable Dude (he needs a new codename on this site, I know) and anyway, since when is it OK to lean over and poke people? FACEBOOK BEHAVIOR ISN’T OK OUTSIDE OF FACEBOOK. Otherwise, I’d spend [...]

Say: “Well I’m glad they’re capable of writing a diary entry” when referring to the sixty 15 year olds that I’m proud of for attempting to write creatively about their life experiences. I want to take that sarcastic tone of yours and smack you with it.