Posts under ‘Life Asks’

Life asks: Chelsi, you haven’t even said anything about the volcano! Chelsi answers: Oh, you mean the one that erupted and ruined the trip to France I’d been planning for a year? Life: THAT’S THE ONE! Chelsi: Of. All. Things. Life: I know, right? I’m pretty proud of myself. Chelsi: You’re dead to me.

Life asks: You suddenly find yourself in the emergency room, stripping down to one of those hideous backless hospital gowns in preparation for a chest exam. What’s the first thing that crosses your mind? Chelsi answers: Bad day for a thong, but the nips have been groomed so we’re all good.

Life asks: Have a good time in Japan? Chelsi answers: The best, but I can’t wait to get home and collapse into bed. Life: Probably not the best time for civic responsibilities then. Chelsi: You don’t mean… Life: Jury duty, sucka!

Life asks: Did…you just refer to me as a gangbanger? Chelsi answers: Oh yeah, I totally did. Gangbanger. [long pause] Life: Yeah, okay.

Chelsi asks: Hey life. Life answers: Sup. Chelsi: Why are you such a fucker? Life: If by fucker you mean awesome, then well, it’s just my nature.

Life asks: Hey, aren’t you supposed to be in Japan right now? Chelsi answers: Life asks: Right. Still not speaking then.