Posts under ‘On Being A Shit Magnet’

Nobody expects their chicken pot pie to be interrupted with the sudden need to go to the emergency room, so you can imagine my surprise when that’s exactly what happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Three hours, two pills and an EKG later, I’m the lucky winner of an acid reflux disease called [...]

Last week, after realizing that I had successfully cooked a bunch of packaged food with Japanese instructions, my roommate asked timidly, “Are you starting to read Japanese now?” Guys, I can’t even tell you how badly I wanted to answer “yes” to that ridiculous, ridiculous question. Sadly, as far as I know it’s impossible to [...]

This week all posts were supposed to be typed and published on Japan’s zany future time zone, but alas, I am still in good ol’ California. Good ol’ dry, blistering hot, crap for brains, won’t let gays get married, California. Also home of the SFO airport, where the dumbest human beings IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE [...]

Yesterday I read “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and I can say with complete certainty that my life has been significantly changed. I love it when books do that.  I only dog-eared one of the 536 pages, which is unusual given that I loved it so much (I generally ravage books I love with lots of [...]

When my most recent ex-factor admitted to sticking his dick in other vaginas behind my back, I made him get tested for STDs and all that jazz at Planned Parenthood. I could have gone myself and refused to tell him the results just to be an asshole, but seeing as how he HATES going to [...]

Check #295: paid to the order of Gina Bowden in the amount of two hundred dollars Check#296: paid to the order of Raley’s in the amount of seventy five dollars and ninety three cents Check#290: paid to the order of Kohl’s in the amount of one hundred thirty four dollars and twenty one cents (Sidenote: [...]