The Poison

My friend Arwen and I had an interesting conversation this week over brunch. Certain recent events have lead the both of us to consider the poison that some people are born with. Equipped with The Poison, you can get hook and land any girl you want, and what’s more than that is you can treat her like shit and she’ll still be there when you wake up in the morning. Cheat on her? Tell her she’s ugly? Annoying? Stupid? Whacked? She’ll cook you breakfast the next day! Act like a total douche bag for years on end? She’ll max her credit card out because she wants you to love her!

HWMNBN had the poison. Before me there were at least half a dozen girls that he wooed before walking all over. It’s infuriating. I don’t know guys, I’m not usually a sappy, weakling of a person, but something about that dude short circuited a fundamental part of my brain and I turned into a sniveling pile of emo-tastic shit for three years. I was also convinced that I was unattractive, too self-pitying (that one is still up for debate) and pretty much the biggest loser ever. Go. Figure.

I finally washed my hands of The Poison. And it was hard. Very hard. My friends saved me from caving multiple times, either by calling just when I was about to dial his number or by linking me to cool heart-mending resources. Or, you know, just by talking to me when I needed to vent. And for all those things I will be forever grateful.

Surprisingly, aside from my closet taking a total dive and the window of my car deciding it was through with rolling up, I’ve been riding a pretty positive wave. And get ready for this; some of the good things that have found their way into my life include jobs! That’s right, jobs! The plural of job! And what’s more, they’re writing jobs. Hallelujah.

I’m going to save the explanation of my not-being-a-total-bum for another post because it should be its own story, but I will say that I now get up at 5am every day to write, and the sunrise and I are beginning to get to know each other a little too well. But so far that’s ok.

I just wanted to take a second to note that I am no longer in a dumb-girl trance, and I’m sorry for those of you that read the posts that were directly influenced by it. If it helps, I probably hated feeling that way just as much as you hated reading about it.

EDIT 6/2011: Miss Beyonce totally read this blog post and wrote a song about it. (Or, you know, she thought of it herself. Whatever.)