The things that matter

When Spike Jonze took the stage at last year’s International Advertising Festival in Cannes, I was really excited to hear some advice from a creative superhero. But when he started talking, it was immediately obvious that he was uncomfortable. The confident man I'd imagined looked like a deer in headlights, all wide-eyed and frozen, and every question from the audience was received as though he was being interrogated. Lots of stuttering, lots of throat clearing, lots of umms and errs.

Instead of giving us a secret recipe, Spike admitted to never knowing nor caring whether or not his projects reach anyone. It turns out his process is simply about reflecting what he loves and doing it for himself. That there are others who like the end result is just lucky. A lot of people were disappointed to leave the auditorium without a shortcut to fame and fortune, but I remember walking out with a light in my belly.

I feel the same warmth each time I read a Steve Jobs eulogy. Most people highlight the same qualities: He was a tyrant in the work place, he didn’t take no for an answer, and he absolutely loved what he did. In her own version of his life, Steve’s sister Mona called love his supreme virtue. His god of gods. “He tried. He always, always tried, and always with love at the core of that effort,” she wrote.

These are two men from opposite ends of several spectra, but I see a very clear pattern that connects them. Passion is like a personal language. The individual chooses the sounds, the structure, the inflections, and attempts to communicate. There’s no method outside of having the courage to tell the world who you are, knowing that nobody will ever fully understand.

I love the word ‘courage’. It comes from the root ‘cor’ (the Latin word for ‘heart’) and its original meaning was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Speaking from experience I can tell you that the process is scary, doesn't usually make you famous, and the cost can be high and heart-wrenching-- especially when it's a friend. But I also know that the vulnerability it brings to your life will make you a better person.

I like to remind myself of this (permanently!) because I am passionate about telling the story of who I am: a tyrant, a deer in headlights, intensely emotional and painfully nervous. And this isn’t just when I’m writing or practicing some other creative outlet-- I am one or all of these things (plus more) every second of every day because I believe living is about having the courage to be alive.

To all the people who have stuck with me over the years, thank you. Thank you for listening to my story for better or for worse. Though you've never fully understood it, you've somehow managed to recognize that at the core of it there is only love. For that, I am more than lucky to have you. I am blessed. And to all the people who have left or ever will leave, I never lock my door